Sexual problems are particularly difficult because of the embarrassing and taboo nature of sexuality. Commonly, sexual problems exist within the context of a relationship, so that a person's partner too, is involved. It is said that sex is roughly five percent of a relationship, but when sex is a problem, it inflates to consume ninety percent of the relationship. When one or both partners in a relationship are sexually troubled, the impact of the problem snow-balls with the passage of time.
Determining the cause or source of problem may seem impossible. Many dysfunctions have an emotional cause. Emotions are powerful forces that can effect our behavior and performance both in and out of the bedroom. Men, who tend to be less emotionally aware than women, can be mystified by emotionally-based performance problems due to lack of awareness of the influencing emotions. Sexual problems show up in physical ways, making it seem unlikely that emotions may at the root. Of course some sexual problems are physically-based as well.
Beyond a purely biological need for reproduction, healthy and satisfying sexual play includes a merging of partners, which reduces tension, increases emotional intimacy, contributes to the feeling of connection and of being loved; the qualities that people most highly value in a love relationship. Without that, the cohesion between partners is reduced and sometimes lost.
When faced with a sexual problem, a person must first admit to the problem. In seeking help to correct it through sex therapy or through a doctor a person must acknowledge their own value. The by learning about their sexuality, about their emotions which effect their sexuality, a person must learn and grow. Having a sexual problem is an opportunity to grow. Sex therapy is about helping people to grow to become more self aware and stronger. Andrew Aaron, LICSW 508-997-6091 x106